DICTIONARY OF DATING

Happy Valentine’s Day all darlings…(I know its a lil too late though).   I picked up these articles on my flight back….something light and fun to read for the lovey dovey couples and unsuspecting singleton out there.

*   Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.  After marriage, the “Y” becomes silent.

*   A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” and the father replied, “I dont know, I’m still paying for it.

*  Words to live by  :  Do not argue with a spouce who is packing your parachute.

*  Marriage is grand - and divorce is at least 100 grand.

*  Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.  After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

DICTIONARY OF DATING

Dating  :   The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

Easy   :   A term used to describe a woman who has the morale of a man

Eye Contact  :   A method utilised by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him.  Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman’s eyes are not located in her chest.

Friend   :   A member of the opposite sex who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

Indifference   :   A woman’s feeling toward a man that is interpreted by the man as “playing hard to get”

Irritating habits :  what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together

Sober   :   A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

Law of relativity  :   How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

mmm…